Forgetting How to Breathe
by TroubledSoul69
Summary: THG/Gale's POV What if Gales name had been picked? What if he and Katniss where entering The Hunger Games together? What if they fell in love in the arena?
1. Chapter 1

When you go into shock, aren't you meant to feel completely numb? When I've watched earlier tributes on the giant screen in the square, they always say they can't remember how to breathe. But my experience was the complete opposite of that. I felt as though I was being shot by one of Katniss' arrows, or being mauled by a wolf.

I clench my fists so hard I can feel my nails breaking the skin of my palm. A gentle nudge of someone behind me brings my thoughts back to the present. I feel the colour drain from my face as I mount the steps towards Effie Trinkets fake pink hair.

I don't programme what she's saying to me, I just answer her questions as bluntly as I can through gritted teeth.

When she finally gets the message, she straightens her wig and crosses the podium to where the ball with the girls names is set.

And that's when I go into real shock; forgetting to breathe, going completely numb.

Because the name called is Primrose Everdeen.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything happens so fast.

Prim walks up towards the stage, fists clenched, walking stiffly like me. Our eyes meet. The terror in her eyes is intense I am forced to look away. A choke comes out of nowhere. I look frantically around, because I just know what Katniss is going to do. Before I have plucked up the courage to even open my mouth, she's running towards Prim, pushing her sisters body behind her own and shouting the words I knew but didn't want to hear. "I volunteer." She says "I volunteer as a tribute!"

I hear Effie and the Mayor say some stuff but I don't hear it. We're looking at each other with the same terrified expression. There's an ear piecing scream that brings us back to our senses, as Prim wraps her arms around Katniss. "No, Katniss! No! You can't go!"

Without taking her eyes off me she tries to shake Prim off. I see her eyes glazed with tears. "Prim, let go!"

Suddenly Peacekeepers are prizing Prim from Katniss and taking her, kicking and screaming, into the crowd.

Katniss climbed the steps and quickly takes her place. "Well, bravo! That's the spirit of the Games!" Effie Trinket says with strained enthusiasm "And what's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen." rasps Katniss in a hoarse voice.

"I bet buttons that was your sister. Don't want to steal her glory, do we?"

I had to re-plant my feet on the floor to stop myself from running towards Katniss, pushing Effie aside and holding her as tight as I could. Effie leads Katniss towards me where we take each others hand. Effie doesn't seem to notice. "Come on everybody! Give a round of applause to this years tributes!"

There's a deadly silence. Katniss grips my hand tighter. Gradually, one by one, every member of the crowd holds their first three middle fingers to their lips and points it towards us. Approbation. Respect.

The Mayor clears his throat and starts the compulsory Treaty of Treason.

Me and Katniss look at each other. I remember the first time I met her. She murmured her name so quietly that I mistook it for Catnip. And now we die. We die because of the Capitol. I am suddenly aware of the single tear running down poor Catnips cheek. I daren't wipe it from her face. I just squeeze her hand and blink several times, mostly to keep my own tears from falling.

The Mayor concludes the Treaty of Treason and nods his head to indicate we can shake hands. We don't move. He and Effie look down to see our hands tightly locked together, they both give the same sympathetic look that I despise.

The anthem starts, and the grip from Catnips hand is so tight now that I seem to have lost feeling in my fingers. As the anthem ends, we are lead by the Peacekeepers into the front gates of the Justice building, and that's when she says it, in barely as so no one, not even the Peacekeepers can hear. "I love you, Gale."

Then I'm pushed into a room where I'm alone.


	3. Chapter 3

I fall to my knees in the thick carpet. Did she really just say that? I replay the moment in my mind over and over again. She said it, I'm sure of it.

I rise and start to pace the luxurious room, running my hands over the velvet couch as I go. The door opening is the only thing that brings me out of my deep thinking.

Of course, I can't leave without saying goodbye.

My mother, Vick, Rory and Posy enter the room, looking just as out of place as I felt. Tears are streaming down all four of my loved ones faces, even though Vick and Posy were too young to understand. I clench my teeth together to stop myself from crying in front of them.

I open my arms and hold my mother as if she were a child, Posy in her arms, Vick and Rory clinging onto my legs. They all knew it was a certain death sentence, by none of them had the guts to say it.

When my mother finally pulled away, she looked up at me with the saddest expression on her face. She's broken. First her husband, now her son. Before I could falsely reassure her, she touches my cheek and says "Just try. That's all I ask."

I want to say something to her, tell her what to do, how to survive while I'm gone, when I'm gone. But I can't. I just can't.

The Peacekeeper opens the door as to tell us our time is up. My mother switched Posy to the opposite arm to the one in which she was holding her, takes Rory by the hand and instructs Vick to let go of my leg. He does exactly what she says, he knows this is no time to misbehave.

"Mum!"

I scream at her as if I were a toddler, trying my up-most best not to cry. She looks over her shoulder with the most intense look of fear and sadness on her face. But she keeps walking.

And she was gone.

The second, and last, people to come and wish me farewell is Katniss' mother and Prim. I could instantly read the misery in their eyes, I walked across the room and embraced them. Over the years they had become just as much of a family as my own. But I knew what they wanted me to do. "Gale-"

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"I'm going to keep Katniss alive. I'll do whatever it takes." Because I love to, I added silently.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm escorted out of the room about ten minutes after Katniss' mother and sister leave, and directed into a big, shiny car. I wait, not sure what to do, I've never been in a car before. Then the door opens and Katniss flops in beside me.

"Hi." she says awkwardly.

"Hey." I answer.

There's a long pause. I know what she's thinking. In a few weeks time, either both of us, or one of us, is going to be dead. So what's the point. I take her in my arms and hold her.

"I'm sorry." I say

"What for?"

"I'm sorry… that you and me…" I tail off

"Me too."

And that's that. Then door opens again and Effie clambers in, she sees the position of Katniss in my arms and looks away quickly, a blush making her fluorescent pink look seem a little more human.

I let go of Katniss, but she silently insists on holding my hand. He clutch was so tight that I was starting to lose the feeling on my fingers. Then the car stops, the engine dies and the door opens to reveal blinding flashes that seem like cameras. Katniss lets go of my hand straight away. I understand.

We both put on that face. The face that makes you look bored and sulky, hiding the hurt, panic, in fact all the emotion in your face.

I help her out of the car and, keeping our heads down, we are escorted into the train that will carry us to our death.

Inside I'm immediately directed to a room the size of my house that I'm told is my bedroom for the journey to the Capitol. I explore the chamber and find that there is a private bathroom with a bathtub and shower, a dressing room and a huge wardrobe filled clothes made of fabrics richer and softer than the mayors finest suits. And it disgusted me. Giving us this luxury just before we die? When was it when my family were starving. When Katniss' family were starving.

Katniss.

I slam the doors of the wardrobe and make my way across the hall to where her bedroom was. I knocked softly. "Katniss…? Catnip…?" When there was no reply I opened the door and went inside.

She was in the shower. I picked up her mothers blue dress that had been left on the floor and held it against my face. Her smell. Catnips smell. Herbs, pines and soap.

I sat down on her bed and scuffed my shoes on the carpet, the dress laid over my lap. Then the door opened and her silhouette walked towards me, in a green top and trousers.

The dark red light of the sunset from the window in the corner made her startled face look young, almost innocent. That's when I realised we were alone. Completely alone. I seized the opportunity.

I stood from the bed and opened my arms. She fell into them and wrapped her arms around my neck. Lifting up her head that was buried in my chest and pressed her lips to mine.

**(A/N) Thank you for reading and reviewing! I've actually made some friends while being on FanFiction, so I'm really grateful! Sorry for the long wait, my internet went tits over arse (English sayings never let ya down folks!) Check out the alternate ending to this chapter…**

_**ANTERENTE ENDING: Then the door opened and her silhouette walked towards me, that's when I realised she was naked… **_


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N) I'm sorry! I really am. Things have just been a bit mixed up lately and I needed time to think. Thanks for reading and supporting me though! This might not be what you want to happen in the story, but I'm just trying to stay true to the characters.**

Katniss gets out of the armchair in the corner of the carriage, where she has been sitting, and picks up a gold, circular object from the chest of drawers. She hands it to me. It's a golden broach, that looks almost familiar, an object seen but not noticed.  
"Madge gave it to me." She says quietly, turning and sitting on her bed, her back to me.  
It glints in the red, evening sunshinethat lengthens the shadows across the room. Within the outer circle of the broach, is a bird, it's glittering wings only just attached to the outer circle that is it's cage. "A Mockingjay?" I ask.  
"From what I know."  
A lump forms in my thoat when I remember that day… Katniss probably can't even remember, yet I can still hear the soft melody she sang to the mockingjay in the woods. The first day I ever heard her sing.  
I make my way across to where she's standing and pin it over her chest. Her heart. She tenses.  
Katniss looks down, I kiss her on the forehead and head out of the room.  
"Where are you going?" She calls, not moving or looking up.  
I turn to her.  
"Shower." I say, and smile. Not a real smile though, not happy. A smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes, that secretly says "Help." But that I can't say that. I have to be strong. _We_ have to be strong.

I take off my shoes, not allowing myself to get angry. Angry with what? With the fact that I'm going to die? The fact that Katniss is going to die? That I love her?  
I undress in the bathroom after 10 minutes of messing around the shower. I decide on a bath instead. As I lower myself in, I find it funny, that at home, we hadn't used so much as a tap, but here I am… on a _train_ with hot, running water.  
I sit, uncomfortable for a while, not even in the arena but already having the unnevering feeling of being watched. After a while I sink into the bath and think about what just happened.

I didn't mean to. It's the sort of thing that you do when you're not thinking, just reacting. But she didn't kiss back. My Catnip doesn't feel that way, and the heartbreaking thing was I knew it.  
She pushed me away, a shocked expression dominating her face. "What-?"  
"I'm sorry… I…"  
But she just sits in the armchair and drums her fingers on her knees. She was thinking. I knew I should have left but I didn't, I just stood near the wardrobe, staring at the carpet.  
"I don't love you." This didn't take me off guard.  
"I know."


End file.
